When I Feel Happy Do I still Need Therapy?
There is something peculiar that happens within a couple of sessions of therapy. Relief. It is a comforting feeling that quiets former thoughts and emotions that previously ravaged the soul. From my experience providing therapy and being in therapy, I like to conceptualize this feeling as what happens when you feel seen and heard.
Therapy provides the opportunity to experience deep attunement; deep seeing and hearing.
For some, this may be their first experience of this.
But there is a temptation to end therapy when there is relief. There is a tendency to stop “doing the work” as soon as happier feelings prevail against the more distressing ones.
But “the work” truly never ends.
Therapy doesn’t have to be forever but it should be a commitment to meet your goals whether you feel relief, happiness, fulfillment, anger, shame, or stress.
It’s important to acknowledge when you experience positive emotions within therapy and to even affirm these feelings. It’s a wonderful thing when you notice a shift in mood, especially if you have been experiencing a prevailing mood that has caused a lot of disturbance in your life.
However, I would like to caution anyone from ending therapy prematurely, especially if they have not considered these ten guidelines.
So here are 10 guidelines to help you discern if ending therapy is right for you:
Whatever brought you to therapy has been resolved. You have met your goals and you are living a more full, functional, and happier life. You not only feel the emotion of happiness but your life reflects happiness.
You feel equipped with skills and tools to help you when you experience a similar challenge in the future.
You have allowed yourself to be open and vulnerable, and fully express what you had the intention of expressing in therapy.
Your relationships have improved. You are connecting well with others and feel more secure.
You are more compassionate and understanding to yourself and to others.
You possess more self-knowledge and feel more conscious of your past and present.
You are living more in the present. You are more mindful, observant, and attuned to what is happening in the here and now.
You have people whom you can confide in and receive support from when you are most in need of counsel and compassion.
You have a recovery plan to help support you when you might backslide or when thoughts or behaviors emerge that may be harmful to you.
You feel confident that you can truly practice what you have learned and rely on your internal resources and wisdom.
So if you are feeling happy and you are in therapy I encourage you to really reflect and discern if ending therapy is the right thing to do at this time. The goal of therapy is not to just experience happiness but to experience every emotion, including the distressing ones, with greater clarity, consciousness, and compassion.
As always use your best judgment and do what feels right for you. If ending therapy brings you greater consolation and peace, then trust your intuition. You can always re-enter therapy at a later time if you want to pursue it again.