God Writes Straight with Crooked Lines
In my spiritual direction, we have been reflecting a lot on God’s mercy. My spiritual director shared with me the aphorism, “God writes straight with crooked lines.” I had heard it before but never really pondered its meaning and especially its meaning in my own life.
I admit that I often have let the fear of not being enough, keep me from being who I am called to be. As soon as I fail, I think “See, I knew it! I am not good enough!” which leads me to discouragement and shame.
This is one of the biggest temptations that the enemy uses to keep us from pursuing God and pursuing our best-selves. This temptation is most prominent when our minds are stuck in the past.
There is a real temptation to stay in the past, to think about all our failures, who hurt us, what we didn’t get to accomplish, etc. But God meets us in the here and now. We just celebrated advent not too long ago and claimed “Emmanuel” God with us. This means God with us now. If we want to experience the joy and freedom that was won for us on the Cross, we have to be willing to let go and be with God in the present.
Letting go of the past does not mean that everything we have experienced becomes discarded. God uses it all. Regardless, if it was right, wrong, messy, or hurtful, God takes it, blesses it, and brings a greater good (if you let Him).
God writes straight with crooked lines.
This is the story of Salvation. This is the story of Jesus and what we are celebrating at Easter. It is God entering into the world- into our brokenness, loneliness, sadness, wounds, and insecurity, and turning it into something beautiful.
There is nothing you can do to separate yourself from this kind of radical love (Romans 8:31-39). God calls each of us to just be gentle with ourselves and receive it.
Fr. Richard Gallagher says, “When we open our weaknesses to the heartfelt compassion God has for those weaknesses, discouragement wanes, and hope grows.”
This makes me think about what you see when you are hooked up to a heart monitor. There is just a bunch of crooked lines. You see lines going up and down, constantly. When it becomes straight and linear, you are no longer alive.
In the same way, the crookedness in our lives is not a reason to grow in despair rather it is a reason to rejoice. Our “crookedness” means we are alive. It means that we have another opportunity to get up and try again. It means that in God’s great mercy, we can be understood, accepted, and redeemed.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive for that perfect line but perfection isn’t about not making mistakes, but immediately getting back up after you make one.
In other words, from Searching for and Maintaining Peace Fr. Jacques Philippe writes that “the sign of spiritual progress is not so much never failing as it is being able to lift oneself up quickly after one falls.”
Eventually, when we reach the place Jesus prepares for all of us and what we journey towards during Lent, our lines become straight just like what we see on a heart monitor when we die.
What we have experienced in the past, experience now in the present, and what we will experience in the future is sanctified. We are made new and we can experience the most perfect love and peace.
So whatever you are struggling with, know that God meets you where you are. This is the power of Lent. Lent is about journeying with Jesus in the valley of our imperfection. It is allowing Jesus to see what we are struggling with most, the crosses that are hard for us to bear, and allowing Jesus to do what He was sent to do, which is to heal us, restore us, and set us free.
God writes straight with crooked lines.