Let your heart be troubled no longer: How Mary helped release Juan Diego’s fears.

"...Let your heart be troubled no longer, have no fear of that sickness nor of any other sickness or sorrow. Is this not your mother here next to you? Am I not your health? Are you not safe here within my loving bosom? What else has thou need of? Let nothing worry or afflict you further..." -Our Lady of Guadalupe to Juan Diego

It is truly remarkable that Our Lady has appeared to so many children and Juan Diego, who was not a child but whom she called "smallest of all my beloved children" and affectionately referred to as "Little Juan."

Our Lady must have seen so much child-like faith in him. In our modern-day language, his inner child must have been radiantly gleaming. But why does Mary speak so often to the child and not directly to the man?

From an attachment lens, I wonder if it is because children are naturally afraid. They need a loving and caring presence to help them build confidence. They may naturally exhibit a lot of courage, but that courage comes from security. The more secure a child is, the more they feel free to explore, take risks, and trust others, themselves, and their environment. They need to be reassured and shown that letting the fear come and then releasing it can be safe.

For example, a child may feel afraid at bedtime, but when a child has a secure base, they still feel the fear associated with bedtime because of the security, they can courageously work through it, trusting that they will be okay.

When Juan Diego responds to Mary with humility and deep faith, it tells me that Mary communicated through not only her words, but her body, security, and safety. Her very presence (body language, tone, affect, gaze), regulated the fear in his body and helped Juan Diego to trust courageously.

Mary was a "secure base” for Juan Diego, and as a result, Juan Diego was free to be Mary’s child and fulfill his purpose.

Mary was also unconcerned with Juan Diego’s objections, uncertainties, or self-doubt. She saw what Juan Diego was capable of and his capacity to overcome those fears and boldly complete her requests, which gave Juan Diego the courage to release his fears and embrace what Mary saw in him.

This releasing and embracing helped Juan Diego to accept that he had a special purpose that only he could fulfill, and he began fulfilling it despite the many trials that came with his calling.

Although many of us won’t ever experience Mary physically meeting us and communicating a very special assignment that will change the course of history and save millions of people, we all are offered an opportunity to have our fears met with love.

Each day, Mary speaks to us and tells us that we are her children. She sees the child within us and affectionately calls out, “Little Brya” “Little Izabel,” “Little Paul,” “Little x.” We may not always see it or feel it, but the invitation to be mothered, experience a secure base, and let go of our fear is for each one of us.

This gives a lot of hope for complex trauma survivors and those of us with anxious or insecure attachment styles. The story of Juan Diego and Our Lady of Guadalupe tells those of us who don’t trust easily and have layers and layers of fears that we can separate the child within ourselves from our adult self and offer safety by regulating our bodies, speaking to ourselves affectionately, and responding to our needs and feelings compassionately.

We can speak directly to the child within and offer that child security through tone, language, affect, and gaze, and bring safe people into our lives to demonstrate to us that it can be safe to let go of our fear.

Think about the times when your heart suddenly stopped beating so fast, your palms dried, and the shakiness in your voice disappeared, all because someone saw you, made space for your feelings, and showed you through their presence that they receive you wholeheartedly.

This is akin to what Juan Diego was feeling with Mary, and fortunately, God created us in such a way that we can experience this every day when we have the tools, language, and people to support us!

It may take a lot of time for some of us to start experiencing security and safety in our bodies. The practice of receiving from a safe person, including learning how to be that person for our own selves, is a long journey for complex trauma survivors.

We also may not be able to receive safety and security from Mary or other religious figures because we are still working through religious trauma and the ways our own wounds and unhealthy experiences with caregivers have been projected onto them.

We also may struggle to see the child within ourselves. Perhaps we have grown accustomed to bypassing our emotions and vulnerabilities, and we struggle to make space for the possibility that something within us may be very afraid and need a loving adult presence.

If you identify with any of this, know that healing is still possible for you. Whether it takes a day or a lifetime, the good news is that you are capable and worthy of living fearless. The time it takes to experience this, albeit grueling, pales in comparison to the eternity in which we were created.

So, let this blog be an invitation to keep practicing bringing regulation to your body. Keep imagining a life where you are experiencing your belovedness in this lifetime. Keep surrounding yourself with safe people who help you to rest and let go of your fear. Keep reaching out for support. And keep reminding yourself that Mary is your mother, too. Even if you can’t feel that right now, she also calls you by name. She sees the child within you, and she wants you to experience all you were created to be!

Practical tool: Something that has helped me that is taken from Mother Teresa is the prayer, “Mary, Mother of Jesus, please be a mother to me now.” In moments of high stress, fear, or anxiety, this prayer along with several deep breaths has brought much regulation to my body. Try it and see if it helps!

If you are interested in learning more about Juan Diego and his special role in our world's salvation, you can learn more here.

Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us!