Resurrection and Resilience

As soon as I had my daughter and I saw her little body coming close to me,  I just cried. Actually I wailed. It was the loudest cry I ever had cried before. When they put her body on my chest so I could really see her for the first time, tears continued to overflow. I could not stop crying but it wasn’t because I was sad. It was more like sadness was exiting my body to make room for pure joy and gratitude. In other words, I was elated. 

When I think back to that moment and why I became so emotional, I think it was because of all the sorrowful moments that led to her birth that could have prevented her from entering the world. Moments when I let the voice of the enemy completely rule my life. Moments when I was in the thick of despair and could not see any hope. Moments when my heart was broken and I worried if I could ever really be loved. Moments when I felt not enough and I just wanted to quit, run and hide. 

But seeing my daughter was like seeing light shatter all of the darkness in my life. 

This was a resurrection moment and I knew it was a deep blessing to be alive to witness and receive it. 

As humans we need these resurrection moments. We need moments when we are given new life. Moments when we are no longer hurting, sad, hopeless, fearful, or dead inside but completely alive and full of love. 

These moments propel us forward and remind us of who we are and all the good we have been made for, and increase our resilience. 

And we need resilience to continue to move forward because the reality is these resurrection moments fade.

Sadly, I barely think about my daughter’s birth and that elated feeling being in that hospital room with her for the first time. Instead, I often focus on what’s going wrong in my life. I tend to lean into the negative voices in my mind that steal my ability to be present, to be joyful, and to be grateful. 

And I know I am not alone in this. Many people do this. We let these negative voices define our reality and shape the overall quality of our life. 

But what I have learned from my healing journey and walking with others on their own healing journey is that we have a God who is always with us and who is always speaking. 

God is constantly offering us His gentle whispers to heal, equip and propel us forward. 

When I look back at my life I can see this so clearly. Resurrection has always been near, even during times that felt completely dead and hopeless. And it didn’t always come in these grand, major life changing moments, like childbirth. But it came through a still small voice in my mind, good friends who supported me when I needed them most, helpful mentors, priests, nuns, and therapists who brought me wisdom and hope, waking up to see another morning, and many other experiences that I often take for granted. 

And I don’t think all of these resurrection moments exist just in my life, but I believe they exist in your life too. 

Your life has been full of God’s faithfulness and His gentle whispers have been speaking to you since the moment you were born. The more you can recognize this and celebrate these moments, the more you will be able to manage those sorrowful moments that will certainly come with greater hope, trust, faith, and peace.

So fast forward and I was laying with my daughter who was now 8 months old and I was reflecting on this very thing and I could hear God telling me “You see the way you look at her, this is how I look at you. I have always been there for you. Write about my faithfulness in your life for your daughter.” 

That very night I began thinking about my inner-child and all of her struggles. I thought about the negative voices in her mind that often prevented her from hearing God’s voice, and what I believe God was telling her during these times and thus my first ever Children’s Book “God Whispered Gently” was born. 

After months of editing, dreaming and reflecting on God’s love and faithfulness, I am ready to share with all of you what I wrote and dedicated to my daughter. 

My prayer is that through this book you will be able to see God’s hand in your own life and you will hear His gentle whispers. You won’t let those negative voices in your mind have the final say. You won’t let the darkness in the world and in your own heart, cripple your resilience and worth.

Rather you will let the joy of Christ’s resurrection be alive in your own heart. You will continue to trust that you will rise again.

Interested in learning more about my Children’s Book, God Whispered Gently you can read more and purchase it here!