Defending Dignity: Sexual Abuse Awareness and Resources.

TraumaSexual Abuse

Apr 13

No matter how many times I hear a story of sexual abuse, the carnal effects are still the same. My stomach sinks, my heart feels heavy, and my eyes tear up. I can’t turn this off, no matter how much I try, and although it hurts, I am glad I experience this. I want to feel the weight of this deep wound and sorrow. I want to be reminded of why I got into this work. I want to be connected to the survivors and experience visceral solidarity.

The month of April is Sexual Abuse Awareness month and I have to admit that I debated whether or not I would bring up the topic of Sexual Abuse on my blog. I worried that by bringing it up, I would make people feel uncomfortable and it would bring up my own experience with sexual abuse, but then I thought about my clients. I thought about these feelings I get when I hear a survivor’s story, and I thought about my own story, and I knew I could not stay silent. Especially this month.

In America, every 73 seconds someone is sexually assaulted. This is a huge problem that not only affects the individuals who experience sexual assault and abuse, but all those who are associated with that individual, including the generations to come.

It is my opinion that sexual abuse is one of the worst evils human beings can experience, and it continues in every race, culture, social status, and age group because too many people are afraid to be uncomfortable and afraid to use their voice. And for good reason. Sexual abuse can bring up generations of this kind of wounding, it can divide families, it can sever relationships, hobbies, passions, institutions, and careers, it can bring up every emotion from rage to humiliation, and it can demand action people might feel unequipped to do.

But what I think is the most tragic, especially if the sexual abuse happened when the person was young, is it can define a person’s worth. It can make people feel like they are disgusting, inadequate, and worthless. Instead of seeing themselves in God’s image and likeness, they begin to see themselves as far from God’s design and vision.

But if a person allows themselves to be defined by their sexual abuse it is not because they made a deliberate and conscious decision to do so.

People don’t begin to define themselves by their sexual abuse until they look around and see how the adults around them are responding.

They ask the questions, am I being protected? Am I safe to share what happened? Will my dignity and worth be championed? Does someone seem to care? Will someone do something about what happened? If the answer is no, then that’s when the message becomes clear: I deserved what happened. I have no dignity or worth. My own wickedness brought on this great evil.

This reality breaks my heart because people who have experienced sexual abuse should never receive the message that they deserved it and that there is something so deeply wrong with them, that they somehow invited it.

What people deserve is a world where they can be truly safe and protected. They deserve families who are willing to stand up for them and fight for their dignity. They deserve childhoods that are bright and filled with childhood innocence. People deserve to live life believing they are a child of God and made in His image and likeness, and to receive a message that they will be treated as such.

So in this month, let us be mindful of the evils and grave tragedies to the human person and human spirit. Let us lift those who have been impacted by sexual abuse in prayer and defend their dignity.

For those who have been impacted by sexual abuse, I pray you use Sexual Abuse Awareness Month to reflect on your story and to see the ways in which abuse may have impacted your worth. My hope is that you will come to find that it was never your fault and that you did and always will have dignity and value.

For those who are looking for resources, here are some that might help:

If you are looking for therapy to work through sexual abuse or support a person who has experienced sexual abuse, I encourage you to fill out an inquiry on my page. I would be happy to provide psycho-education, healing, and hope.

Other resources:

www.rainn.org Call 800-656-HOPE (4673) for the National Hotline for Sexual Abuse

Online Resources for Survivors: Websites and resources offering support and help

Features:

Administration for Children & Families

Peer Online Support

After Silence : Free and moderated online support groups, chat room, and message boards.

Adult Survivors of Child Abuse: International Self-help support group program

A long Walk Home: Art therapy and visual performing arts to end violence against girls and women.

Fort Refuge: Community of abuse survivors offering peer support through online chats and forums.

Incest Resources, INC: Non-profit organizaton operated solelby by survivors and volunteers.

Resources for Catholics: