Do I need therapy?
In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, our world came completely undone and changed each of us. It unraveled life as we knew it. It awakened new feelings, intensified old ones, conjured up additional stressors, put strains on relationships, distanced us from social supports, opened our eyes to many injustices, and in one way or another, it impacted our mental health.
For some more than others, this impact has been detrimental.
The “virus” that spreads and affects our mental health can be just as life-threatening, scary, and contagious. It’s important that we name this and normalize seeking professional help.
So what are the signs when someone should actually seek therapy?
For many of us I think it’s difficult to know. We often hear that therapy is for “crazy” people or therapy is for people with “real” problems. Whatever that means! Either way, these stigmas are not helpful and create an incredible amount of shame when seeking support. But the reality is we can all benefit from therapy at some point in our lives for many different reasons big or small.
Therapy can be a wonderful way to examine our feelings, learn new coping strategies and experience a relationship where we are completely listened to and not judged, no matter how awful, normal, or “crazy” we think we are.
However, there are two important shifts inside of us that are worth mentioning. These shifts signal to us we might need therapy, like yesterday.
#1. We don’t feel like “yourself” anymore
#2. We lose our sense of balance
Let’s talk more about the first one. We don’t feel like “ourselves” anymore. Our sense of self includes all of the wonderful qualities that make us who we are: our passions, our interests, our profession, our ethics, our beliefs, and our feelings about ourselves and those who are important to us. When our sense of “self” is off, all of these components come into question. It becomes extremely problematic when we no longer are living true to ourselves and when our lives feel less meaningful and productive. This can lead to serious mental health concerns in the future.
So here is a list of feelings and behaviors that signal to you that your mental health needs some TLC and it might be a good time to seek professional help.
Your behaviors are not congruent with your values and/or beliefs
You feel a loss of fulfillment
You lose interest in things that were formerly important to you
There are significant changes in your sleeping or eating habits
Your thoughts become more consistently negative
In more serious cases, your thoughts become more suicidal or even homicidal
Your dreams, fantasies, and wonderings become morbid or scary
Your mood shifts and fluctuates quickly
You feel a loss of peace (peace is replaced with persistent anxiety, sadness, stress, paranoia, etc.)
You are not able to manage stressors like you used to
The coping skills you normally use aren’t working
You feel unmotivated to take care of yourself
You start to withdraw or are isolating yourself from others
You feel incredibly lonely
You look to substances, gambling, or sex to cope
If any of these experiences last longer than 2 weeks, it is especially important to seek professional help because you might be experiencing or at-risk for depression, anxiety or another related mental illness. Also if you have experienced a trauma or unexpected loss, your sense of self can be deeply impacted overnight and therapy should seriously be considered.
The second shift is, you lose your sense of balance. Losing our sense of balance happens a lot throughout our life. For many of us when COVID-19 happened, it became increasingly difficult to feel any sense of normalcy and consequently our routines went out the window. We were overwhelmed and inundated with so many new changes and challenges. It’s not a surprise that many of us lost our balance. However, when the loss of balance begins to disrupt our overall quality of life, it’s a good time to see a therapist.
Here are some examples.
You feel too overwhelmed to take care of your responsibilities
You neglect caring for yourself (working out, eating healthy, maintaining your hygiene)
You neglect to care for others
You engage in more binging or addictive behaviors
You feel “stuck” and/or immobile
You simply “forget” to accomplish various tasks
You aren’t as attentive (more dissociated, spacey, etc)
You are more irritable and/or angry around others
You become increasingly more preoccupied or obsessed with a person, place, or thing
You feel persistent stomach aches, headaches, and/or other physical discomforts
You experience more high conflict in important relationships or they’ve become more estranged
There are always a million and one reasons why these shifts happen. That is why therapy can be extremely helpful because it is an opportunity to explore the reasons behind these shifts and prevent future challenges. The entire process is centered around your needs and your growth.
And when the process works, it really works. There’s nothing greater than feeling like yourself again and living a more balanced life as a result of working with a therapist.
If you are still unsure whether or not you might need professional help there is absolutely no shame in setting up a consultation and speaking with a therapist directly. There are a lot of Teletherapy platforms like DotCom Therapy and local services that are here to support you!
No matter if you choose to seek therapy or not, I hope you take the time to care for yourself and prioritize your mental health. That way when “shift happens” during a global pandemic or normal everyday life you can identify it and manage it to the best of your ability!