Does my child need therapy?

The COVID-19 pandemic has completely disrupted life as we know it creates a ripple effect of crises. If you are a caregiver it can feel like there are multiple crises going on at the same time: the pandemic crisis, a financial crisis, a homeschool crisis, an education crisis, just to name a few. As caregivers struggle to navigate the many crises going on in the world and in their own living room, it can be difficult to identify the crises that their own children might be experiencing, especially if it’s an emotional one. 

Emotional crises are often covert and less identifiable which is why caregivers need to pay close attention to them and examine whether or not their children may be experiencing one. 

But wait what exactly is an emotional crisis? 

Author and Counselor Deborah Trueheart from the National Empowerment Center state that an emotional crisis is “a cry from deep within that something needs and wants to be seen and heard.” 

This is a wonderful definition because at the core of every human being is a desire to be seen and heard. When children are experiencing an emotional crisis, this desire to be seen and heard may show up in very strange, harmful, disruptive, and obscure ways. 

It’s important that as a caregiver you feel empowered to respond to your children when they are experiencing an emotional crisis and/or other challenges that seem to be disrupting the overall quality of their lives. It’s also important that you know when it is time to seek additional support, such as therapy. 

Seeking therapy doesn’t mean that you are incapable or inept to respond to your children’s needs. It simply means that you are willing to share the load with a professional who has the experience and knowledge to help.

No shame in that, right? 

Therapy provides a wonderful opportunity for children to learn new coping strategies, express their feelings, and understand their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in a safe environment.

When a child is experiencing an emotional crisis there are several signs and/or symptoms caregivers can look out for. Here are some that you should pay special attention to:

• Persistent withdrawal 

• Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness 

• Persistent worry, anxiety, or fearfulness 

• Persistent flatness or emotional numbness 

• Persistent nightmares

• Drastic shifts in mood 

• Frequent physical complaints or somatic symptoms 

• Bizarre beliefs, delusions, or paranoia 

• Sudden change in eating habits (not eating at all, binging, purging, etc) 

• Sudden change in sleeping habits (hypersomnia, hyposomnia) 

• Expressing thoughts, dreams, or fantasies of suicide or homicide

• Obsessing over a person, place, or thing

• Performing specific routines compulsively 

• Regressing developmentally: Thumb sucking, bedwetting, fear of darkness   

• Inappropriate avoidance of people, places, or things 

• Sudden loss of friends 

• Difficulty concentrating and/or appearing more spacey/ dissociative 

• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies that were previously pleasurable

• Abusing substances 

• Engaging in any kind of self-harm

• Sudden and unexplained shift in behavior at school (low grades, missing or cutting school, frequent fights at school, disruptive behavior) 

• Drastic change in dress/style, music, hobbies 

• Frequent physical or verbal fights with others 

• Revengeful speech 

• Preoccupation with violence or engaging in any violent acts 

For children under five, it may look a little different. For example: 

• Excessive clinging unto parents or an intense fear of being separated from the primary caretaker 

• Showing frightened facial expressions 

• Excessive crying, whimpering, trembling, or screaming 

• Immobility (appearing stuck or frozen often) 

• Hitting, kicking, biting, or any other preoccupation with violent behavior 

Sometimes you do not have to wait and see if your children are experiencing any of these signs and/or symptoms. During critical, sudden, and difficult moments in a child’s life, it is important to offer your children a network of support right away. For example: 

• Sudden loss of friend or family member 

• Exposure to a traumatic event (witness, experience, or confrontation that involves actual or threatened death or serious injury, which leads to intense fear, helplessness, or horror)

• Experience or witness of any sexual, verbal, or emotional abuse 

• Being bullied, embarrassed, or ridiculed repeatedly 

When a child feels supported immediately after an experience such as one of these, the intensity and duration of their symptoms will be greatly lowered. 

If you are considering whether or not therapy may be right for your child, it never hurts to talk to a therapist directly. There are many different Teletherapy platforms like DotCom Therapy and local services that are here to support you and your children.

BUT by no means does working with a therapist provide you with all the answers or offer any magic solution. However, it CAN alleviate the stress you may feel to solve everything on your own and give your children a safe place to get the help they might need. And there’s nothing wrong with having a little extra support and a safe place, especially during times like these.