A Letter to a Mom who Doesn’t Feel Good Enough

Dear mom who doesn’t feel good enough, 

The voice that says you aren’t a good enough mom is an old, familiar voice. It is a voice from long ago. It is a voice that most likely came from experiences of failure, rejection, abandonment, ridicule, and harsh criticism. But this voice is not your own. Your true voice, the voice that is connected to your soul knows the truth. 

Sometimes all you need to do is silence all the noise to hear it. 

So take a couple of deep breaths, mama. Put one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. Close your eyes and look at that small child within. Do you see her? Notice how lovely she is. Peer into her heart. Do you see her deepest needs? Her longings? How much she needs your affirmation and attunement? 

She doesn’t need you to believe the lies that say she isn’t good enough. She doesn’t need further evidence to suggest that there is something deeply wrong with her. What she needs is your support. She needs you to point her to her soul, the truth, that tells her she is loved...she is strong...she is resilient...she is courageous...she is capable...she is intelligent...she is gifted...she is compassionate...she is worthy...she is beautiful…she is GOOD ENOUGH. 

Will you tell her this? Will you remind her of this truth? 

Because even on your most difficult days mama, even when all you see are your limitations, imperfections, and shortcomings, this little girl inside of you exists and is still good enough. 

And when you keep silencing the loud noises to reveal this truth to her, the more you will believe it too. You will be able to give yourself grace, acceptance, and live out your God-given dignity and purpose. 

With love, 

A Therapist 

Brya Hanan, LMFT